“It’s not that men don’t want to be deep and vulnerable and communicate from the heart. They don’t know how.”

“I saw a real abnegation of masculinity, an internalized misandry. ‘I'm a man so I must suck’. I felt that in my body. I didn't know how to carry myself as a man, and didn't have any male friends I could share with openly.”

“The problem isn't so much that we have negative role models of masculinity. It's an absence of role models at depth in masculinity. All men are deep. Each in different ways. But we run around in a world where it feels like nobody's showing it, so nobody thinks anybody else is.”

“There is a vague assumption that men can't be open-hearted, loving, grounded, and assertive. There is a masculine interiority that is beautiful and whole and available and there to be gifted to the world. But nobody ever showed me that.”

“When I was in the men’s group, I saw 25 men share openly and vulnerably in a masculine manner. Their hearts were open, they were grounded, and they had themselves. I felt like an anemic discovering iron. I was like: Where has this been all my life? I need this.”

“I felt a deep calling. It was choiceless. I have to do this men’s work. It changed my life, restored my sense of self and my relationships, and the deep knowing at the back of my heart.”

“If we’re in our bodies, and using words to figure out what we know, gesturing toward an articulation of something that we can feel but can't quite articulate, that's deeply embodied speech, and that is truthful and beautiful.”

“Don't do it alone. Recruit allies. Find the people who see you clearly. They'll know your dream is right, and they'll work with you to make it happen.”